PREMYOGI VAJRA DESCRIBES HIS KUNDALINI AWAKENING EXPERIENCE IN HIS OWN WORDS AS FOLLOWING
I was practicing fully practical, worldly and Non dual philosophy(SHAVID-Shareeravigyan darshan that describes Body mandala in a scientific and practical form including company of some ancient Indian spirituals in a minor form) since about 18 years; casual and irregular YOGA practice since about 10-11 years and dedicated/regular Kundalini-yoga practice(means including focused concentration on mental kundalini-image at first time) since an year long at a peaceful and secluded place(external link/quora), too far away from my home, also including Tantric-yoga(direct sy) in it for last one month to make my Kundalini mature, blissful and uprising. I had come to my home after a very long time gap in my newly purchased personal vehicle along with my family. Then on one day, I was sitting on a chair in a ceremony at a relative’s home. Due to calming effect of meditation, my beard had gone moderately grown up and having about 30% of total hair seemingly white. I was welcome in that ceremony with full heart. I was feeling special love and respect for me all around there. Childhood memories connected with the ceremony-people had gone freshened. I was feeling myself as quite opened up, peaceful, satisfied, tension less, mindful and carrying up blissful mental Kundalini-image happily with me. People related to my Kundalini-image were present there and atmosphere around there was also related to my Kundalini. That house was built there on a steep and small hill, appearing as if sticking there with a strong glue. I was feeling continuously a good humming and grace there all around. Ceremonial music(modern type and not with noticeable lyrics but being as a musical and verbal noise only) was also running there at a medium sound level. A feel good atmosphere was present there all around. Smart and happy faces of my well known and some strange beings were appearing as if flying here and there. Someones were going up or down the stairs. I was sitting in the balcony of the middle story having my chair supported by the outside fencing grill. There was a group of smart and happy ladies busy in singing and dancing inside a separate room. Different ladies as one by one alone or sometimes in group of two and rarely in group of three were standing up turn by turn and coming in the center of singing group of approximately 20-25 ladies to showcase their dancing art. On the greenery-filled, graceful, long and straight hill of equal and medium height, there was a straight road running with the hill at about one third to one fourth of the height of hill from the base valley and was at level with the house at about 100 meters sky-distance away. I was able to hear some traffic noise from that road at a medium level. The great sun was turning red with exhaustion and waiting to see off his duty at the hill top. Then as soon as my childhood-time, meeting after long, army man retired sometime ago, being familiar to my kundalini in physical form, having qualities similar to my kundalini-image in physical form and friend cum relative-brother asked my well being with a smiling, radiant and belonging face; that soon I was suddenly lost in the memory of my Kundalini and on getting that stimulus, she became fully loaded inside my brain. My head turned heavy with great tautness and pressure. That pressure was special because that was agitating and flaring up my consciousness unlike the normal and routine pressure that depress it. That was appearing as if a consciousness-river in the form of a whirl was swirling in my mind with full speed and shaking every particle of my brain, tolerating which my brain was becoming incapable. That consciousness-whirl was appearing as making a blasting pressure in my brain. My Kundalini was appearing as driving that consciousness-whirl in that way for she was appearing everywhere. A light, stormy, sober and same-level sound was being felt as if there were bee hives flying. Actually, that was not a sound but like that, silence-filled unique pressure and tightness inside my brain with feeling of great self-consciousness. Just as a pressure inside the brain is felt while doing head-stand or shoulder-stand, the same type was that although that was with much more pressure, silence, consciousness-glimmer along with bliss and Kundalini-image. If electricity transformer could feel scuffling, filled up with silence and humming sound both together(although not sound but like sound sensation) running inside that, then that could feel it as his Kundalini-awakening. That was not an enlightenment but lower than that. That was like a in-between sound of OM(aum) syllable-external website/speakingtree.in, running long at equal level. May be that secret behind om is hidden behind that. Eye-born experiences were appearing as if ready to exit out blast-fully just like as if bees ready to leave their hive. Appearing as if those experiences were trying to fly up with their powerful flapping. A state of great bliss was there, even greater than the hundreds of sexual joys together. really speaking, that kind of bliss could not be produced with the external senses. Kundalini was fully bright, competing with the Sun. She was appearing clearer, livelier and more real than even her own physical counterpart, and other sensual objects directly in front of eyes. Eyes were open and having all the scenery in front with amazement but without any distinction and judgement. Wherever eyes were going, there was Kundalini appearing. Everything was colored in Kundalini. All experiences were appearing as if equal, unchanging and complete. My personal ego was fully dead. I got suspicion of my health. I had no feeling of my own personality. I was as if in the form of a personality of Kundalini and non-duality only. 2-3 neighborhood people on chair and coming-going few persons including that well-wishing friend started looking at me with suspicion and worry, so I became little shy and tried to get some sense of me. I tilted my head little down and massaged upper border of my forehead with fingertips of right hand few times applying moderate pressure, and constricting my eyes too with moderate pressure to return to my own personality. With that little effort, my shining Kundalini came down and I got my normal ego-personality returned back. Soon I sensed my grave mistake and tried to lift up that shining Kundalini again from my body-Chakras but failed miserably. Although I felt myself as if greatly happy, fresh, blissful, Tension less, stress less and full of detachment/non-duality. I was feeling warmth and redness on my face during that great experience.
The same type of experience I used to feel at time of my indirect-Tantra/right-handed school of tantra(external website/vinyoga.com), when the mental image of first Queen used to become as clear as physically real in my brain, although at lower level than this time my Kundalini appeared. At this time, mental image was not that of the first Queen but that of the same purana-loving/tantric-spiritual old man(he used to chant puranas in one room and I used to study science deeply in a neighboring room-external link/quora), although only for approximately 10 seconds. The image of first Queen used to be persisting almost always in my mind, sometimes mildly, sometimes moderately and sometimes intensely as per the worldly activities. Although at this time, Kundalini-image of that spiritual old man was at the topmost manifestation of all, even greater than the direct physical things in front. Earlier too, image of that spiritual old man used to persist in my mind but for less time and in less strength than that for the first Queen. Probably my lustful and materialistic surrounding along with my young-hood was responsible for that. However mental image of Queen also used to ignite the mental image of the guru along with her in the same proportion. It supports the same tantric principle that guru and consort must be accompanied both together. Actually, whatever is accompanied along with consort, that is also mentally absorbed along with. That’s why Vedic marriages are provided with a good start. I never experienced a full Samadhi-union with the image of that godess-queen(deveeraanee) but in the above described Kundalini-awakening, I felt myself as if fully merged and one with the mental image of that spiritual old man in the form of a full blown Samadhi. Probably This same is called as the union of Kundalini with Bramha/own self inside the Sahasraara Chakra/brain. That experience loosened enough the snare of blind woman-attraction inside my mind, because uniting with the image of an old spiritual master in my mind as more strongly than the image of my intensely beloved Queen was not less than a miracle. However, second Queen provided me enough help to lift up the Kundalini-image of that spiritual old man in my mind through the direct Tantric-yoga/left-handed school of tantra(unlike the first queen that helped through the indirect tantra). How things happened in case of first Queen up to my glimpse enlightenment around quarter of century ago and how those happened in case of my second Queen up to my glimpse Kundalini-awakening in the real time, that you can read all in full detail at Love story of a Yogi as a Longreads article or in short installments in the form of explanatory and interactive short posts through following this blog. For further detail, e-Book(Hindi)is advised.
From another online-forum(originally written)-
I experienced as if the Beautiful Kundalini-image of my spiritual Master suddenly and surprisingly rises to brain from the unobserved different body points or chakras. My brain becomes filled up with that image . Pressure appears in my brain upward. Great bliss and light .Logical mind dead. limited ego dead. Ego in the form of image only. Image superimposed over every where and on everything . Unity consciousness experienced. It is a state of Sampragyat Samadhi.
My eyes wide open without blinking but with amazement to one side constantly, yet seeing nothing physical things present there, but only Kundalini image inside and outside as if same. Actually, every scene was in front of my eyes but all appeared as if inside the brain, not outside. Those scenes were united as if one with my Kundalini-ridden self. When every scene was there as if my own self, then how could I see those for anybody can see only others, none can see himself but can experience only. Own self is experienced only, not seen or judged in a way just as non-self/other is seen or judged. It means that my focused concentration had reached the peak suddenly for a moment, that’s why Kundalini-image appeared to me as if being my own self, not other. Intuitively, I guessed without judgement or without involving brain that people were feeling me as if I had gone crazy. Image was much more intense, bright, influential and experiential than even anything physical experienced ever. I diverted my eyes here and there intuitively to escape away from the people’s attention and also massaged my forehead with finger tips from side to side, trying to constrict my eyes and putting pressure on my brain to experience the physical world in physical dimensions again. I left the spiritual dimension and started getting sense of the physical world around with dilution of the intensity of kundalini image. I again tried to get the spiritual dimension back after one or two minutes of leaving it on sensing my mistake, but I failed miserably. I tried to lift up that bright, golden/fire-colored Kundalini but failed. I remained in the full Samadhi(kundalini awakening) of spiritual dimension for almost ten seconds. In the evening, I could not concentrate that much during my meditation hour due to the fatigue of my neurotransmitters, psychologically as if mental Kundalini image of my Master with loving smile saying, “you have missed boss, but don’t worry for I’ll come again soon, so wait for the next chance”. However the chance is too rare for that demands a lot of dedication, time and right effort. Anyway, experience was there. Kundalini awakening occurs suddenly at that time when one is fully relaxed, blissful and enjoying the world, being totally unaware about that, so one is not cautious enough to handle that thus highlighting the importance of regular practice to make her handling spontaneous, intuitive and habitual.
This above is the detail of my that day’s experience as uploaded on the Brilliano Kundalini forum. Actually, everyone remains in Samadhi while being conscious, only intensity varies. This is so because mind of a conscious man always bear this or that thought or image. A single thought or image in a concentrated state is what a door entry to Samadhi. When concentration to a mental image of an object or thought develops so much that image appears nothing separate but as his own self by the meditating being, then Samadhi is perfect and can be called as Samadhi proper (for understanding). At that time, image appears very sharp, bright, blissful and real. That image appears such that if only that image exists. This, that, you, I, we and everything is nothing but that image only. It is felt that if image exists only and nothing other than the image exists at all or say everything is in the form of bright Kundalini-self, opposed to the worldly self that is dark and impure. Knowing(own self of man meditating), known and knowledge; all of these three become one with the meditating man as if his own self only. Concentrating(man concentrating/meditating), concentrated(mental kundalini image) and concentration(recognition of the process of concentration/meditation) become one in the form of the own self of meditating man. Samadhi state is nearest to Enlightenment. In fact, it’s door entry to the Enlightenment. In Patanjli Yogsutra, spiritual development up to the Samadhi level has been described only, because it’s the only describable top most state in meditation. Enlightenment can’t be described properly and fully at all. Samadhi is achieved through repeated and focused concentration on a single image through meditation, regularly and consistently for years. I think, if concentration is proper and method is right, Samadhi can be achieved within one to two years. Samadhi can develop only with a mental image, not with the object of sense directly, because our self resides deep inside and can’t merge with the object of sense which is outside and superficial. The role of the external object is only to strengthen that’s own image inside the brain of the meditating man in the start. Later on that’s discarded too and that’s mental image only practiced wholly. During Samadhi/awakening, everything that may be external or internal, all appear as if internal only, that is a reality too. The reason found for this experience is that we are accustomed since the eternity to consider more bright things as if external and less bright things as if internal due to the sensual delusions. When the brightest Kundalini appears as if internal during the awakening, then there is no reason for all other things to be considered as if external.