Recently, a reader commented on my post about Kevala Kumbhaka and his words stayed in my mind for a long time because they reflected a very sincere spiritual experience that many people silently go through but cannot easily explain. He wrote that for many years spontaneous breath suspension had been happening to him naturally. He never fully understood what was occurring because during those moments his mind seemed to disappear and ordinary awareness was absent. He described it as a mystery that followed him for years without clear explanation. He also mentioned that his stomach area used to expand greatly, not because of fat but because of some energetic infilling or fullness. Later he became more attentive to the process and noticed something important. Whenever the breath naturally stopped, the mind also disappeared. After emerging from such states, he experienced profound freedom and nonattachment. Yet despite these experiences happening repeatedly for years, he still remained curious and uncertain about what exactly was occurring. After reading my article, he felt that perhaps the process was related to Kevala Kumbhaka and realized that kumbhaka might hold a much deeper importance than he had previously understood.
His comment revealed something beautiful and genuine. Sometimes spiritual experiences happen first and understanding comes much later. A person may pass through deep inner transformations without having the philosophical language to describe them. The reader was not speaking from imagination or borrowed concepts. He was describing direct experiences of spontaneous stillness, breath suspension and freedom from mental activity. What touched me most was the honesty in his words. Even after years of such experiences, he still approached the mystery with humility and wonder instead of claiming certainty.
The discussion naturally led me to reflect on my own experiences. I realized that although spiritual experiences may appear similar outwardly, internally they can unfold in very different ways for different people. Some experience deep stillness as voidness and silence. Some experience it as expansion of energy. Some experience disappearance of thought. Some experience profound nonattachment afterward. In my own case, the experience unfolded through an intense state of unitive awareness that lasted only for a brief period but left a permanent existential impact on me.
There was a moment in my own spiritual journey when energy rose intensely toward Sahasrara and entered what I can only describe as a supreme existential state of Savikalpa Samadhi. The experience lasted for around ten seconds before I deliberately lowered the energy down toward Agya Chakra. Even today I sometimes reflect on why I interrupted the natural flow prematurely instead of allowing the process to continue on its own. Yet despite its short duration, the experience carried a certainty unlike anything in ordinary life. It did not feel like emotional happiness, imagination, trance or excitement. It felt existentially complete, as if consciousness itself had become fully fulfilled within its own nature.
What made the experience extraordinary was not merely bliss or energy but the disappearance of separation itself. Mental movement was absent, yet awareness remained fully alive. My eyes were open. The external world remained visible exactly as before, yet at the same time there was no distinction between myself and what was being perceived. Whatever appeared in perception felt inseparable from my own existence. There was no distance between observer and observed.
At the same time, the meditation image that existed within my mind also became completely connected to the same unified awareness. Normally human consciousness divides experience into separate compartments. One part is called “me,” another part is called “thought,” another part “meditation image,” and another part “external world.” But during that state all fragmentation disappeared together. The meditation image inside the mind, the external physical world visible through the eyes and the sense of self all existed as one indivisible field without separation.
This is why the experience did not feel like a blank void or unconsciousness. Awareness remained fully present. Perception remained active. The world did not disappear. Instead, division disappeared. There was no separate observer looking at reality from a distance. Observer, observed and the activity of observation merged into one seamless existence. The bliss felt ultimate not because of emotional intensity but because fragmentation itself had dissolved.
Reflecting on the reader’s comment helped me recognize how differently spiritual experiences can unfold while still pointing toward the same mystery. In his experience, spontaneous kumbhaka and disappearance of mind brought profound freedom and nonattachment. In my own experience, awareness remained open-eyed and externally perceptive while inner image, outer world and self-awareness merged into one field. Both experiences carried transformative power, yet each revealed consciousness through a different doorway.
Many spiritual traditions connected with Kundalini Yoga, Raja Yoga and Tantra speak about such states in different language. Some emphasize stillness of mind. Some emphasize breath suspension. Some emphasize nondual unity. Some describe bliss. Some describe voidness. But behind all descriptions there seems to be one common movement: the gradual dissolution of psychological separation.
Another important realization from this conversation was that profound spiritual experiences do not always instantly settle into permanent stabilization. Even after touching deep states, human consciousness may continue reflecting upon them, revisiting them and trying to understand their significance. This is natural. Sometimes the experience transforms a person immediately. Sometimes its meaning unfolds slowly over years. Sometimes one brief glimpse changes the entire direction of life without becoming a permanent state.
In my own case, even though the experience carried overwhelming certainty while it was happening, afterward a subtle lingering remained regarding why I deliberately interrupted the process. Yet this lingering was not the same as ordinary worldly dissatisfaction. Rather, it became part of the deeper inquiry itself. Once consciousness experiences a state where inner mind, external perception and self lose all separation, ordinary worldly experiences naturally stop appearing ultimate in the same way as before.
The reader’s comment also highlighted another beautiful truth. Many people silently undergo profound inner processes without public recognition, philosophical knowledge or spiritual labels. They may think something strange is happening to them without realizing that contemplative traditions have spoken about similar phenomena for centuries. Sometimes a single article, discussion or shared experience helps such people finally recognize that they are not alone in what they have experienced.
What remains most meaningful to me from this entire discussion is not the attempt to classify experiences into rigid categories but the recognition that consciousness has depths far beyond ordinary fragmented perception. Whether through spontaneous kumbhaka, silence of mind, nonattachment, energetic awakening or open-eyed unity, there are moments when the usual boundaries of self begin to dissolve. In those moments, existence no longer feels divided into inner and outer, self and world, observer and observed. There is only one seamless presence expressing itself through everything simultaneously.
Just as the physical world and the self can merge into one during an awakening glimpse, similarly the void and the self may also merge into one. In the spiritual and literary traditions, this ultimate state is often referred to as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. The difference may only be of level — one happening at a gross level and the other at a subtle level. It may be that gross merging acts as an initial demonstration that prepares one for subtle merger. It may also be possible that subtle merger can happen directly without first experiencing gross merger. It may further be that subtle merger becomes easier after gross merger because one becomes habituated to unity consciousness. It may also be that there is ultimately no difference at all, and that direct subtle merger can be just as easy as going through stages. These are all speculations and should be verified by someone fully realized, if any such person happens to read this blog. But one thing does seem clear: just as simple observation of the world is not sufficient and one has to become fully lost in it for complete merger, similarly a simple experience of the void may also not be sufficient. One may need to become fully lost in the void itself, through continued practice, for complete merger to occur. It also seems that the same spiritual and nondual way of living may be necessary for subtle void merger just as it is for gross merger with the visible world, because the principle behind both appears similar. The difference may only be that one happens at a gross visible level while the other unfolds at a subtle invisible level. This may be important to understand because after experiencing gross merger or awakening glimpses, a person can become egoistic, feel spiritually complete prematurely and slowly drift away from the spiritual lifestyle and inner discipline that originally made such experiences possible. If the principle of merger is truly the same at both levels, then continuity of humility, nondual awareness and spiritual living may remain essential even after profound awakening experiences.
Even if such moments last only seconds, their impact can remain for years because they reveal directly that the deepest bliss does not come from acquiring something outside oneself. It emerges when separation itself temporarily disappears and consciousness experiences its own indivisible nature directly.
Demystifying Kundalini 