The Hidden Link Between Mindfulness, Sexual Energy, Nonduality, and Spiritual Awakening: My Personal Self-Realization Experience

Mindfulness as an Alternative to Meditation Images

Over the years I have reflected deeply on the difference between mindfulness-based awakening and awakening through a meditation image. My own experiences suggest that mindfulness can serve as a direct path to self-realization, especially for people who do not feel comfortable with symbolic meditation, deity forms, visualization practices, or any mental image that appears strange or culturally unfamiliar.

A method that gradually became clear to me begins with a brief contemplation of Sharirvigyan Darshan or what I sometimes call Quantum Darshan. The contemplation itself need not be long. It only has to shift the mind away from ordinary worldly identification and toward a deeper understanding of reality. After a short period of contemplation, a subtle accumulation of energy may begin. Ordinarily, this accumulated energy gets attached to thoughts, desires, memories, fantasies, worries, ambitions, or even spiritual goals. In many meditation traditions, it may also become linked to a meditation image, mantra, deity, chakra symbol, or another chosen object.

My experience suggests another possibility. Instead of allowing the energy to become attached to a meditation image, one may simply remain mindful of whatever is occurring in the present moment. Attention stays open and receptive. The energy that would otherwise become concentrated around a mental object instead strengthens mindfulness itself. In this way, awareness becomes increasingly stable without dependence upon any symbolic focus.

Mindfulness tries to recreate awakening glimpse

What I experienced during my awakening glimpses was that all mental and external forms appeared equal to one another. There was perfect nonduality. It felt like the highest level of mindfulness. This suggests that just as an awakening glimpse creates mindfulness, cultivating mindfulness can also lead to awakening. When, through constant mindfulness practice, nonduality reaches a certain threshold, it reveals its unified underlying existence in the form of an awakening glimpse.

How My First Awakening Was Different

Looking back, my first awakening appears very different from my later experiences. At that time there was no deliberate spiritual ambition. I was not seeking enlightenment, awakening, samadhi, liberation, or any special spiritual achievement. There was no conscious attempt to attain a higher state. What happened seemed to emerge naturally from the way my attention functioned.

At that stage of life, egolessness did not arise directly through Sharirvigyan Darshan or Quantum Darshan. Instead, it appears to have developed through deep engagement with science, combined with the influence of spiritual company and spiritually inclined thinking. Scientific inquiry gradually weakened rigid assumptions about reality. Spiritual association softened the boundaries of personal identity. Together they created conditions in which a glimpse of something deeper became possible.

Most importantly, I did not intentionally cultivate devotion toward a single meditation image. I did not select one inner form and treat it as a beloved object that deserved exclusive attention. Rather, my attention remained distributed across the entire field of experience.

The Power of Equal Attention to All Sensations

One insight that seems central to my experience is that mindfulness has the ability to accommodate all sensations and feelings simultaneously. Thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, attractions, fears, pleasures, discomforts, desires, and perceptions can all be held within awareness together.

This creates an important shift. Normally the mind spends enormous energy judging experiences. It labels some experiences good and others bad. It pursues some and avoids others. It compares, analyzes, evaluates, condemns, and desires. Such activity consumes attention and fragments awareness.

When mindfulness becomes sufficiently strong, there is little time or energy left for judgment. The available energy is devoted to accommodating the entire field of experience. Awareness remains with all sensations equally. Instead of separating experiences into categories, mindfulness simply observes them.

As this process deepens, the apparent differences between experiences begin to lose their dominance. Pleasure and pain remain different in content, but they appear increasingly similar in nature. Attraction and aversion remain different in expression, but they are both recognized as sensations arising within awareness. Thoughts and emotions remain distinct phenomena, yet both reveal themselves as temporary appearances.

When all experiences are viewed without judgment, a remarkable possibility emerges. One begins to sense that the background underlying all experiences may be the same. If every sensation appears within awareness and every feeling is known by awareness, then perhaps awareness itself is the common foundation.

From Non-Judgment to Nonduality

This recognition naturally points toward nonduality. Nonduality does not initially appear as a philosophical doctrine. Instead, it emerges as a direct observation.

When awareness remains open to everything equally, the divisions created by preference gradually weaken. Experiences continue to arise, yet the observer becomes less occupied with deciding which experiences deserve attention and which do not. Because all experiences are welcomed into the same field of mindfulness, they begin to reveal a shared nature.

The realization may arise that all sensations are simply different expressions of one underlying reality. Different forms continue to exist, but they are recognized as movements occurring within the same background. This insight does not require intellectual analysis. It emerges naturally through observation.

At an appropriate moment, the common background itself may become evident. Many traditions describe this background as pure awareness, witnessing consciousness, Buddha nature, Atman, or simply consciousness itself. Regardless of terminology, the experience involves recognition of that which remains present while all sensations come and go.

Sexual Energy, Mindfulness, and Awakening

Another aspect of my experience concerns the role of sexual attraction. Many spiritual systems regard sexual energy either as a distraction or as something that must be redirected toward a chosen spiritual object. My experience was somewhat different.

The energy generated by attraction did not become dispersed through endless fantasy or emotional indulgence. At the same time, it was not deliberately redirected into a meditation image. Instead, that energy appeared to strengthen mindfulness itself.

Because attention remained broad and inclusive, the energy associated with attraction became available to awareness rather than to mental fixation. It contributed to the intensity and stability of observation. Rather than feeding imagination, it nourished presence.

This may have been one of the important factors behind my first awakening glimpse. The available energy was not fragmented among numerous mental activities. Nor was it concentrated exclusively upon a symbolic object. It remained within awareness itself.

The Dream-State Awakening Glimpse

Ultimately, this process culminated in what I can best describe as a dream-state awakening glimpse during adolescence. It was not the result of a carefully designed spiritual program. It was not the product of systematic concentration upon a chosen image. It emerged through a combination of scientific inquiry, spiritual influence, accumulated energy, inclusive mindfulness, and the gradual weakening of egoic identification.

The experience carried a sense of self-realization. Awareness seemed to recognize itself directly. The glimpse was brief, yet it left a lasting impression. Looking back, it appears that the pathway involved broad mindfulness rather than exclusive concentration.

The sequence, as I understand it today, may be described as follows: contemplation weakens ordinary identification, energy begins to accumulate, mindfulness receives that energy, judgment decreases, all sensations are accommodated equally, differences lose their dominance, the common background becomes apparent, and awareness recognizes itself.

My Second Awakening and the Role of Meditation Images

My later awakening experience appears to have followed a somewhat different route. In that case, self-realization occurred through a meditation image. The energy that accumulated became connected with a chosen spiritual focus. Concentration deepened through that object, and awakening unfolded through the resulting absorption.

At the same time, Sharirvigyan Darshan played a major role in the development of egolessness during this later phase. Whereas scientific inquiry and spiritual company seemed especially influential before the first awakening glimpse, Sharirvigyan Darshan contributed more directly to ego dissolution during the second awakening process.

Afterward, my perspective gradually shifted toward Quantum Darshan, though elements of Sharirvigyan Darshan remained present. With increasing age and maturity, however, extremely energetic states became less suitable. Stability, balance, and integration gained greater importance than the pursuit of intense energetic experiences.

Chakra Dynamics During Mindfulness

Another observation concerns the movement of energy through the chakra system. During mindfulness, energy does not necessarily remain fixed in one center. Different feelings appear to gather energy within different chakras. Other feelings seem to move that energy elsewhere. As experiences arise and pass, the energetic emphasis changes accordingly.

Mindfulness allows these shifts to be observed without interference. Rather than forcing energy toward a predetermined destination, awareness witnesses its natural movement. In this way, energy circulates through the system according to the changing landscape of experience.

A Personal Understanding of Direct Self-Realization

Today, my understanding is that both object-based meditation and objectless mindfulness can lead toward awakening. One path gathers energy around a chosen image and proceeds through concentration and absorption. The other path allows mindfulness itself to become the recipient of accumulated energy. Through equal attention to all sensations, judgment weakens, nonduality becomes evident, and awareness may eventually recognize its own nature.

My first awakening seems closest to the second path. My second awakening appears closer to the first. In this, meditation image became so strong and crossed a threshhold level beyond which it starts revealing background pure awareness. Both contributed to my understanding, yet the mindfulness-based glimpse remains especially significant because it emerged without deliberate pursuit of a spiritual goal. It arose naturally through observation, inclusiveness, scientific inquiry, spiritual influence, and the simple willingness to remain present with all experience.

For me, this remains one of the clearest demonstrations that self-realization can emerge not only through devotion to a meditation object but also through open mindfulness that embraces every sensation equally and reveals the single awareness in which all experiences arise.

Kundalini Yoga is the background music of life

Friends, in the previous post we were talking about Shakti water. I think that the rain that Indra makes is the rain of awakening, he is the one who fires the thunderbolt in the form of Sushumna Shakti. Indra’s happiness means happiness or favor of all the gods. This is Chaddi kala aka allround development. I am not saying that Indra is not associated with physical rainfall. That is also definitely there because whatever is inside is also outside. Just as for rain to occur, favorable conditions are required with the help of all the Gods, similarly for awakening too. If there is love and faith in the Puranas, then all the paths start opening on their own. Then it came in the story that Gautam Muni got inexhaustible water with the boon of Varun Dev. Varun Devta is a major deity of the Vedas. He is the presiding deity of water. Without the power depicted as water, it is not possible to have correct knowledge of the esoteric spiritual Vedas. Varundev can give only limited water. Khwaja was also one such god of the Indus Valley civilization, who was the ruler of the sea, rivers and water. I had heard of a man who used to discover underground waters and made very accurate measurements, and was an accomplished worshiper of the Khwaja. By the way, even today in many villages Khwaja is worshiped as water god. It is possible that in the Vedas, in the secret language, Varundev has been mentioned as the symbol of that with the help of which the availability of Shakti-water in the body is maintained, but its readers or interpreters may have considered him as the god of physical water. Whatever may be the case, there is similarity on the inside and outside, hence they must be influencing each other. I myself feel that Kundalini Shakti starts moving very well near water sources like lakes, ponds etc. filled with pure water, because it is in the nature of both to flow. There is definitely a relation between the two. Among Hindus and Buddhists, Nagdevata is also considered the god of water. Kundalini Shakti or Nadi is also in the shape of a snake. In our village, both Neua meaning divine serpent or snake and Khwaja were considered to be the lords of the local waters and the vegetation growing around them. Anyone who cut vegetation around water was made to fear being chased by the Neua snake, which resulted in good protection of the forests. At many places I also saw Khwaja in the form of a fish-like idol. It means that Varun, Naga and Khwaja are connected and all three are gods of water-like power. It is also believed that they not only provide water, but also other worldly prosperity and protection. Meaning, they look more like a god of power or Shakti.

Similarly, Lord Indra is also mentioned in abundance in the Vedas. There will be more description of a god who is necessary for the awakening. Because the basic aim of Veda is awakening. Perhaps in a secret way it has been written as rain. Where there is rain, there are deeds, sacrifices, yajanas, wealth and all the glory. It is from these that everyone remains in Chaddi kala or allround development. Awakening occurs in such a state. Of course it has both physical and spiritual meanings, but the latter seems more accurate, because the Vedas seem to deal with spirituality, not materiality.

I think there is a difference between awakening and self realization. The first one is the beginning, while the second one is the peak or end of spiritual development. I found this through AI powered Bing search. It is said that the Kundalini of many people is awakened since childhood. If Kundalini awakening was completion of the development then why would there be rebirth after that. It is also possible that even after experiencing perfection, complete purification of the soul is necessary, for which many times a new birth is required. It is also said that the Kundalini of great people like artists and leaders also is already awakened. Bing AI is free and I found it to provide the best information, both in Hindi and English. Nowadays, AI is helping a lot in writing blogs and doing research. Further exploring, when a person feels darkness without physical contact with his body and functional mind, it is said that the Shakti is sleeping. But when a meditation picture always shines even in the midst of darkness, then it is said that the Shakti is awakened. From here the meditation begins, due to which the meditation picture gradually brightens, meaning the Kundalini Shakti is awakened more and more. Then there comes a time when the meditation image becomes so strong that the seeker does not feel any difference between himself and the meditation image, nor does he feel that he is meditating on it. Meaning, in this the meditator, the meditation picture and the process of meditation, all three become one. This is called Samadhi. During this period one can experience self-realization i.e. enlightenment at any time. Perhaps I was describing this earlier by calling it Kundalini awakening. No problem, it’s just a difference of terminology, there is no difference in experience.

According to the previous story, the Shakti-water in the form of Ganga had told the gods to always reside in Sushumna on the condition that it would have to be given utmost importance. The meaning is clear that if the power flowing in Sushumna is not felt while doing yoga daily, then it will fade away. Meaning, of course, you may miss some work, but you should not miss yoga. What often happens is that only the physical karma is visible, not the mental or spiritual karma. In ancient India, people were engaged in mental activities like knowledge, devotion etc. more, which is the greatest activity because it gives liberation and the right pace to the cycle of creation. In the rest of the world, especially in the West, people were busy with materialism, cleanliness etc., which are clearly visible in the form of work. However, the best method is Karmayoga, in which physical work and yoga practice itself go together.

Actually, Kundalini Yoga is the background music that connects the various tunes of life. When for some reason the main music stops playing, this background music becomes the basis for a happy life. Just as when the main music stops, the background music becomes very loud, in the same way, when the noise of worldly activities of life subsides, the meditation picture of Yoga starts shining very brightly, due to which it can also be awakened. Probably, in the Puranas, this has been compared to meditation in a pit or meditation in a dark prison inside the sea, etc.

There is also another variation of the previous story of Rishi Gautam. In this, after the death of the cow, Gautam comes to know about the conspiracy of the crooked sages. Angered by this, he curses them and their children to remain ostracized from Shaivism and become hell-bound from it. It is said that then Kaliyuga was filled with people like them. There is no mention of him having seen Shiva in that version of the story. The meaning is clear that he did not take the conspiracy of the evil sages positively and did not do Shiv Sadhana properly, rather he used his accumulated energy in anger and cursing, that is why he did not attain awakening. Every action has a reaction.